Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Year's Resolutions, Why Do I Delude Myself So?

Still reeling in Christmas haze, I am spending the week puttering around the house trying to avoid my
self-imposed re-write deadline of New Year's Eve.  Three weeks ago, I went so far as to email my agent that I would have my manuscript completed by then...that move was dumb and dumber.

There's a ceiling to paint and a room to paint, too.  I really should get around to finally refinishing those stairs.  The slate in the kitchen needs to be replaced, and I've talked about building a pantry for years.  Good thing I can't find my tools.  For details on my tool dilemma, please read blog post May, 2010:

As far as the novel goes, I have left my antagonist standing in the middle of a cornfield as I type, resembling one of those stranded video game characters my son leaves on the screen when he ditches to grab a snack or go to the bathroom.  The video game persona folds his arms, taps his feet, waiting impatiently for the game controller to kick back in.  Maybe ignoring my antagonist for a little longer will add to his less-than-charming disposition?

I'm in avoidance mode.  No doubt about it.  The week before New Year's Day tends to amplify my inadequacies and weigh me down like Marley's chains (had to sneak a Scrooge reference in somehow). Maybe it's all those "Year in Review" shows that pelt us this week. Half of the events they show have me scratching my head asking, "Did that guy flying the plane into the IRS building really happen this year?  Seems like it was a few years ago."  This only adds to my sly suspicion that my memory is fading faster than anticipated, thus adding several more links to Marley's chain.  You get the picture.

So our reflection on our weaknesses and broken resolutions from the previous year build as the week progresses, thus pressuring us to make new resolutions to change our lives.

Last year I refused.  Maybe this year I'll give in a little.

Let's about...finish this blog post?

No, that's a lot to ask.  I might be reaching a bit, maybe I should start small.

Coffee, I need some coffee.

Resolution #1:  Brew a pot of coffee.  Regular or Hazelnut?  Oh, wait a minute, I wonder if we still have filters?  We were running rather low last time I checked.  Apparently I need to rethink things.

Revised Resolution #1:  Purchase filters for the coffee maker.  Brown or white?  I've never understood the difference between the brown and white filters sold in stores.  Maybe the brown filters are made from recycled materials and more environmentally friendly?  Or maybe the white filters are recycled.  Hmmmm.

New Resolution #1:  Research the difference between brown and white coffee filters.  Okay, not cool. After extensive research (Google), I am now freaked out about about both the brown and white coffee filters.  The brown filters are more environmentally friendly, but as one blogger writes, the brown filters are unbleached and might retain the remnants of warehouse vermin (rat blog), and another blogger writes the white filters are bleached (oxygenated) and might be exposing us to dioxins (poison blog).  This leaves me with the only logical solution, 23 kt gold filters, the Rolls Royce in safety and design (Ritzy blog).

Brand New, Better-than-Ever Resolution #1: Purchase a 23 kt gold coffee filter.  I surfed to the Bunn website.  It doesn't sell a 23 kt gold filter.

I hate New Year's Resolutions.

I'm going to Dunkin' Donuts for a rat pellet, dioxin-filled cup of coffee.  Hazelnut.

See ya next year.


  1. You have what may be the worst case of "but firsts" I've seen in a long time. You want coffee, but first you have to research coffee filters. You want to write, but first you want to paint the ceiling.

    I need to continue editing my manuscript, but first I have to reread War and Peace. Again.

    Just put your fingers on the keyboard and stand back. And good luck.

  2. Gosh, I think Diane Lebow also had a blog on this (general) topic and several of us chimed in with our own versions--an epidemic or the nature of the beast?

    Unfortunately, if I stop to go look for Diane's blog, I'll end up needing to make a second pot of coffee myself because I'll want to add all the missing bookmarks from the last week--and then realise that I've misplaced the gold filter I do own but now have only the white ones from Costco to hand.

    Nothing's open here on New Year's Day so that will necessitate a re-think and I'll probably end up making the Butternut Chili dip I set out the moldering squash for...and land in the same place as you, but-firsted (oooh, sounds dreadful said that way!) out of my mind and back in the living room watching OH train himself to play Prince of Persia on the XBox while I try to figure out how to get half an hour on it to make my knees hurt some more.

    I'm taking Betsy's advice! But first I need to file down my nails a little to type more quickly; the manicure's not for a week. Where DID I put the nail file...? Hmmm....*that* drawer's needed cleaning out for months...