Oh, I've been a bad blogger. I have let my followers down countless times over the past month. I think I've started five entries, crisply followed by delete, delete, delete, delete and delete. Not sure if it's lack of material, writer's block, insecurity, or writer's block (bears repeating). Well, consider all of your free subscriptions duly refunded. Just haven't been keeping up, have I?
But no more. I am resolved to do better.
I even solicited possible topics from readers. Here they are in no particular order:
#1. Some sort of scandal
#2. Writer's Block
#3. Star Trek
#4. Upcoming Boy Scout camporee
#5. Honey Badger
#6. Suicidal Tendencies after the Red Sox collapse
#7. Changing the school mascot from a bobcat to a pig (i work at Bacon Academy)
I thought combining these topics into a short piece might help generate one solid idea to send me off into a typing frenzy:
Two poodles walked into a Star Trek convention....the Romulan poodle, Bak-Rah, turned to the Federation Security Guard poodle (old-school-red-shirt-gonna-get-killed-first-security-officer type) and said, "How about those Sox?"
Security Guard poodle whimpered. "I know, and then on top of that, I just found out they're changing the school mascot to a pig, not a poodle. Pass me the Romulan Ale and a dram of Cyanide."
Romulan poodle grunted. "Scandalous! What else is troubling you no-name-red-shirted-security officer?"
"Well, I've got to help plan a security detail for an upcoming camporee for 300 Federation Scouts...."
"I see," Romulan poodle said.
"...and this damn writer's block is killing me, plus the fact that I don't have an opposable thumb and typing with paws is the pits."
Romulan poodle growled.
"And what's with the Honey Badger video? I have a video on YouTube and it only has five hits, I think I'm at least as amusing as the stupid Honey Badger. I mean, really, a Honey Badger? I can flip, I can twirl, I can bark at things not there, I can---"
It was about this point when Romulan poodle stopped, pulled out his disruptor gun, and vaporized Federation Security poodle.
So, I finished this little tale, waiting for the writing gods to electrify my synapses and get those fingers flying across the keyboard on some witty and profound topic....
wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.....
well, maybe next week.
Romulan Poodle, Bak-Rah
1 week ago