Tuesday, November 29, 2011

How one small town is rewriting US history

My devoted followers will remember a post I wrote this past summer focusing on certain town officials' blatant disregard for the feelings of my offspring.  A sign appeared directly facing our home, taunting and jeering at the dexterity and speed at which my poor son moves through life.  See below:

(To see the post click here)

Yes, the higher-ups labeled my child as SLOW.

So, I ranted, raved, pulled out the remaining strands of hair atop my head.  Nothing changed.  The sign remains.  My hacksaw blade too dull to make a nick in the metal post.

Time passed, my anger died down.  I gradually stopped following my son around the house with a stopwatch and clipboard.

But then something happened, something so startling that I had to revisit the "sign-gate" scandal again.

A new sign appeared, one at the end of the road.  A sign that has changed history as we now know it.

It seems that the street on which we have lived for the past sixteen years had been incorrectly labeled.

Instead of FRANKLIN DR, the sign read FRANLKIN DR.  See below:


I stood in the middle of our misspelled road and danced with glee, snapping copious numbers of digital pics.
I became so lost in my photo-journalistic ambition, I narrowly missed death by Prius as my neighbor screamed around the corner.

"Idiot!" she yelled.

"But the sign!" I announced, pointing, jumping up and down.

I raced home, printing out hundreds of pics of the sign.  I grabbed envelopes, stamps, and my red pen (every teacher has one). I decided 100 letters to town officials would be enough.  See below:

The sheriff is a nice man.  Along with the restraining order preventing me from entering Town Hall, he hand delivered a letter from town officials:

Dear Mr. Anastasio-

We are aware of the spelling of your road and can assure you it is indeed correct.  After careful research, we discovered that Franklin Dr. is not named after Benjamin Franklin, as we had assumed, but his half-brother, Frank Franlkin.  That Ben Franklin even had a half-brother with a coincidentally similarly spelled last name is a little known fact in American history, one in which we encourage you to pursue instead of sending us letters.  So your road sign will stay the same, honoring Frank Franlkin (father of the Franlkin stvoe, the pulbic lirbary, and of course, discovering elcetriicty by flying a ktie.

Thank you for your concern, and please stay away.


  1. LOL! U know it's all I can do not to jump in my car and see it with my own eyes!!!

  2. The spelling mistakes in their return letter to you are theirs, right? That's hilarious, and appalling! I count -25 points off!