Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Treasure Chest

Patrick and Wayne, two seniors in my English class, have been placing trinkets and baubles in a treasure chest located in my classroom.

At first I simply viewed their covert operation as a means to attract attention or strike up conversations with girls.

But I'm wrong. Dead wrong.

They're on a mission. But their exact purpose still eludes me.

The other day I took a peek inside the treasure chest. Items ranged from a cupcake hermetically sealed in Tupperware to a mummified clementine. There are old graded quizzes, scavenged scraps of student notes, a brown paper bag, and some sort of linear measuring device. There appears to be no pattern or theme to what has been collected.

I closed the chest, sealing the pungent citrus aroma inside.

I carefully placed the treasure chest back atop the bookshelf.

Days from now I'll probably arrive at Bacon and my room will be sealed in strips of tape labeled "Do not cross." Through the window, I will see a workman in a Haz-Mat suit gingerly approaching the treasure chest with large metal tongs. Another worker will clutch a large red plastic bag with the word Bio-Hazard emblazoned on the side.

Trucks from CNN will encircle the building, etc.

Patrick and Wayne assert that the treasure chest poses no health hazard. That in fact their endeavor is school-related and possesses purpose and plan.

For now, I'll take their word for it.

But part of me is afraid.

Very afraid.


  1. Move over Mike Wallace! This is a brilliant expose, Mr. A, and on such a rich and full topic. Our mission eludes many, but it's there. Like missionaries in Burma, we toil away on that chest, with a goal in mind. It will become known, Mr. A, in due time, and when it does... it'll blow doors down.

    Oh, and while your initial impression wasn't entirely accurate, no one can resist a treasure chest. Whoo attention!

  2. "Michael Weston's Quiz"
    An Apple
    A spoon
    Twilighteer Pass
    "Zebra Urine"
    Harris/Liebler/Leon Wedding plans
    Curved Color pencil

    These items and more reside in the chest. It is safe to say that Pat and I have absolutely no reason for filling the chest with these items. We find something, anything, and we decide whether or not it is worthy to to accompany the other belongings.
    Mr. A is right, we are on a mission and nothing is gonna stop us.

  3. One of them has some very fancy script-skillz.

  4. Well, as my compatriot Wayne, fresh back from a leadership conference and a golf WIN!, stated, nothing is gonna stop us. It's all leading up to something. Something unstoppable, and, dare i say... atomic? In magnitude, not that it physically relates to the fusion and/or fission of nuclear particles. Although...

  5. Although...
    I lost the game.

  6. Sounds to me like this treasure chest is incomplete until there is a Cheesewheel comic strip, a Tepid bumper sticker, or a BAM! mask inside.

  7. Hmmmmm....seems like Mr. Breen and I best go on a quest to find these illustrious items requested by our #1 fan. Mr. Breen what say you? Can these items complete our scented and slightly decaying chest, or do you feel like 'all in all it's just another brick in the wall'? I anxiously await your response.

    Wayne "Toaster" Lagasse

    P.S. You can't have any pudding if you haven't eaten your meat!